something beautiful again
Kristian
today is the 11.11.2022. at 11 o’clock the carnival begins here in germany. rucki zucki all the time. yes what you americans imagine of the germans. exactly that. tonight at 4 o’clock i got up. central european time. and saw a french talk show on arte. with subtitles. there was a lot of typical romanic and fast talking. a presenter interviewed an ancient french chanson singer who typically had an american name. eddie something. and the most popular word of the french came up, namely proletarian. which the chanson singer, who had achieved a certain wealth through cheap pieces of fluff, of course gratefully picked up on, even though it had as much to do with him as with any conventional rich person. and then of course, it had to be, it is a french show after all, comics of the chanson singer also appeared. this comic culture is so ridiculous. just like it is with the french and americans. how can grown people only read comics?
i admit. thanks to a french comic (valerian) that i borrowed from the former small library in frankfurt oberrad when i was six years old in 1983, when i was just learning to read in the first grade of school, i saw n@ked bre@sts for the first time and came into contact with blasphemy for the first time in my life, when i saw in the comic a decrepit jesus and god who were only gods of a small tiny planet in the big animated cosmos of aliens and their gods. typically french.
anyway. yesterday my new internet and virus protection told me that all my email addresses and passwords i used at ccmixter were leaked in the darkweb exactly one year ago and are in circulation since then. and it was a leak at ccmixter. somehow it takes the fun out of it. and now the arrogance of the ccmixter admins who occasionally bump into me from the side appears to me in a whole new ridiculous light.
but in spite of everything i like ccmixter. and thanks to snowflake i enjoy a certain freedom on the site.
but yes that with the darkweb takes me a bit of joy.
and now it’s 7 o’clock in the morning. always central european time. and i get dressed. and go shopping for alcohol in the supermarket downstairs together with the other alcoholics of the neighborhood. i take my medication right away. so that in the mix the wine doesn’t seem dignified like at a french dinner but american beastie boys style star trek style, going wild in the early morning.
and now at the beginning of carnival in germany with the ridiculous rucki zucki music and the ridiculous german stand up comedians, including the husband of my former second girlfriend kerstin ricker, i will listen to a bulgarian turkish gypsy song with the typical snake charmer hook.
biser king- dom dom yes yes
…
it’s still the beginning of carnival in germany 11.11.2022. exactly 30 years ago i walked through half the city of offenbach. to the cd rental. and as i was there i found use your illusion 1 and 2. i was 15. my hormonal big bang, the beginning of puberty, started 2 years before. 1990 at the adriatic sea. there, in a bare room with mattresses in my aunt’s house, the first s3xual dreams began to arise with the below average looking classmates from my 8th grade. more precisely with bianca, a classmate. i was 13 and on the border from the muy, the lovely as3xual child to the stinking goy. i crossed the border without becoming a goy, and that was the point when all the dozen female cousins were in love with me. anyway, two years later on a cold winter day i stood in the cd rental and rented use your illusion 1 and 2. that was the time when the powerful american magicians produced powerful songs. and i was a fan of the usa. the land of magic. my best buddy at that time, peter fried, a romanian ethnic german emigrant from romania, only listened to nwa and music like that. so i was alone in our gang in the mainpark. mainpark offenbach where today the drug dealers of haftbefehl the german rapper do their mischief. but at that time he was still shitting in his diapers. anyway we were the gods of the neighborhood. and as i said i was the only one who listened to guns n roses. peter fried wasn’t a jew back then, even though i had suspicions because of his father who always wore that hat that jews wear and gypsies wear. but i didn’t care. peter was my best friend. now when i google my former buddy, i see his pneumology practice with him as a doctor and two jewish doctors as partners. as it says in familiy guy, or as kanye west said: doctor jew. i don’t care.
but now back to my youth. i was in zagreb in 1992. for my confirmation. my confirmation godfather was a farmer from a suburb of zagreb. he had three sons. they were all older than me and they had some money. anyway, we drove through zagreb in a vw golf, the dream car at that time. generation x is called generation golf in germany today. anyway, we listened to use your illusion of cassette in the car all the time. then i went to a disco for the first time. with a washed-out tshirt and cut-off jeans. and there was this thing with my sister. she looks a lot like me, so good. even though she looks tart. anyway, everyone had the hots for my sister. but she let everything bounce off her. i never had to take care of her. not until today.
then i met a girl in my father’s town. the same town that was hit by a terrible earthquake in 2020, six months after my father’s death, 2 days before my birthday. 5 billion euros in damage. anyway, i met the first beautiful woman of my life there. a croatian. years later, she crapped out in the poor environment. i could have married her. but denise reso in offenbach got in the way.
and denise listened to european pop and hiphop and watched american wrestling. no wonder she later met and married her current husband, american superstar wrestler christian reso, in london.
and i’m now listening to november rain 2022 version of guns n roses. and thinking about the hormone flooded transformation from childish muy to ugly goy that i never went through, since i learned in the early 2000s that i’m a poor fallen love god living a mortal life as an adventure.
what can i say people? you don’t know who you are dealing with.:)
…
today is november 10, 2022. i’m listening to my remix from yesterday. still pretty groggy from the two days of drunkenness with wine and drugs. i made my coffee and drank it. watched a little tv. talked to my mom on the phone. and now i turned on my news aggregators. there was this headline: s3xual education in kindergarten. and on the picture sat a 7 foot tall drag queen painted like an american native on the warpath, with fishnet stockings and a dress and high heels and reads with a wide red mouth and purple eyelids and a huge red-haired wig, something out of a book to the three year old kindergarten kids. i’m a sensitive little guy, and i swear if i were sitting there between the kids right now, i would be scared to death of the giant man in disguise. then i read something about the midterms and was surprised that after the failed coup d’etat trump is still at large and that half of the americans are for him. then i read that the biggest lake in italy the laggo magiore is still empty after the drought summer and that it can almost be crossed on foot. then i read about the mississipi, which also has low water. and that in winter. and then i read that janelle the second old round sisterwife of kody brown has left him and that it seems as if the old mormon patriarch kody brown has found his happiness in only one woman namely robyn, who will soon have him for herself.
the war in ukraine continues and there is currently trench warfare going on. reminds me of battlefield 1 that i will be streaming and playing today.
and then i remembered yesterday’s tiktok where a white bitter woman says we need to send more development aid and reparation money to africans because we whites have been exploiting africans for centuries. then an old white man in tiktok said: well, actually, that’s not true. if africa were to sink in the ocean tomorrow, god forbid, it wouldn’t affect germany because africa only accounts for 2% of foreign trade with germany.
and this is what i googled this morning: africa’s share of germany’s total foreign trade (im and exports). and see the german old bad white man was right. it is 2%.
but that doesn’t mean i won’t watch black panther, the rise of wakanda on disney plus when it comes on. despite everything, i’m a little miffed that i was once called a nogger by a white offenbacher. once only but still. even denise reso and kerstin ricker, my former german girlfriends, won’t change that.:)
well it looks like shit in the world. if i were christian, jew or muslim, i would say god will do it. well, since the shoa, jews have an ambivalent relationship with their god and muslims are more for the death of the kuffar. so i don’t know what they think of this dunja.
be that as it may, my own religion forbids me to see any thought of salvation for the world. my religion, namely personified in my goddess of love, always tells me. other people or whatever they are are none of your business. in the end, only the two of us are left. as gods. and when i ask about her virgins, she makes me understand that this is not my problem.
so what should i say world? ignite the nuclear holocaust, let the earth be destroyed by pollution, i still have about 30 years until my end and new beginning.:)))))))))))
…
today is still november 09, 2022. i didn’t want to upload anything at first. but i still had the beat of this commercial song. and then i went looking for an acapella. and i saw that i’ve remixed everything at least 1 time already. and for some acapellas it was already 100 times. then i reached for traveling lights after all. i put in the acapella and set the note key of the backbeat to the corresponding note. and then my mother called. i was beamed away again today with the help of wine and medication. so i couldn’t get in touch with her. i closed the daw. i took my rice pudding out of the fridge and ate it while watching tv and talking to my mom on the phone. then i hung up and was unhappy that i was remixing the same acapella for the umpteenth time. then there was a report on tv about some movie. it was called something nice once. no idea if you can translate that from german. again something beautiful. and i thought about my songs and remixes in general. and then i thought what the heck, just publish something beautiful again. and then i saw the husband of my second girlfriend kerstin ricker on tv. that’s so weird. anyway.
now that i have no more obligations to the state and still get my money, i think the least i can do is make music.
just now i read in an advertising mail that only 10% of all artists who publish their music on spotify have more than 400 listeners per month. and almost 80% have less than 50 listeners.
and in august, i had 2000 listeners thanks to an indian clickfarm. even though i didn’t pay anything for it, the girls in india went all out for me in front of their old cell phones.
i admit. thanks to a french comic (valerian) that i borrowed from the former small library in frankfurt oberrad when i was six years old in 1983, when i was just learning to read in the first grade of school, i saw n@ked bre@sts for the first time and came into contact with blasphemy for the first time in my life, when i saw in the comic a decrepit jesus and god who were only gods of a small tiny planet in the big animated cosmos of aliens and their gods. typically french.
anyway. yesterday my new internet and virus protection told me that all my email addresses and passwords i used at ccmixter were leaked in the darkweb exactly one year ago and are in circulation since then. and it was a leak at ccmixter. somehow it takes the fun out of it. and now the arrogance of the ccmixter admins who occasionally bump into me from the side appears to me in a whole new ridiculous light.
but in spite of everything i like ccmixter. and thanks to snowflake i enjoy a certain freedom on the site.
but yes that with the darkweb takes me a bit of joy.
and now it’s 7 o’clock in the morning. always central european time. and i get dressed. and go shopping for alcohol in the supermarket downstairs together with the other alcoholics of the neighborhood. i take my medication right away. so that in the mix the wine doesn’t seem dignified like at a french dinner but american beastie boys style star trek style, going wild in the early morning.
and now at the beginning of carnival in germany with the ridiculous rucki zucki music and the ridiculous german stand up comedians, including the husband of my former second girlfriend kerstin ricker, i will listen to a bulgarian turkish gypsy song with the typical snake charmer hook.
biser king- dom dom yes yes
…
it’s still the beginning of carnival in germany 11.11.2022. exactly 30 years ago i walked through half the city of offenbach. to the cd rental. and as i was there i found use your illusion 1 and 2. i was 15. my hormonal big bang, the beginning of puberty, started 2 years before. 1990 at the adriatic sea. there, in a bare room with mattresses in my aunt’s house, the first s3xual dreams began to arise with the below average looking classmates from my 8th grade. more precisely with bianca, a classmate. i was 13 and on the border from the muy, the lovely as3xual child to the stinking goy. i crossed the border without becoming a goy, and that was the point when all the dozen female cousins were in love with me. anyway, two years later on a cold winter day i stood in the cd rental and rented use your illusion 1 and 2. that was the time when the powerful american magicians produced powerful songs. and i was a fan of the usa. the land of magic. my best buddy at that time, peter fried, a romanian ethnic german emigrant from romania, only listened to nwa and music like that. so i was alone in our gang in the mainpark. mainpark offenbach where today the drug dealers of haftbefehl the german rapper do their mischief. but at that time he was still shitting in his diapers. anyway we were the gods of the neighborhood. and as i said i was the only one who listened to guns n roses. peter fried wasn’t a jew back then, even though i had suspicions because of his father who always wore that hat that jews wear and gypsies wear. but i didn’t care. peter was my best friend. now when i google my former buddy, i see his pneumology practice with him as a doctor and two jewish doctors as partners. as it says in familiy guy, or as kanye west said: doctor jew. i don’t care.
but now back to my youth. i was in zagreb in 1992. for my confirmation. my confirmation godfather was a farmer from a suburb of zagreb. he had three sons. they were all older than me and they had some money. anyway, we drove through zagreb in a vw golf, the dream car at that time. generation x is called generation golf in germany today. anyway, we listened to use your illusion of cassette in the car all the time. then i went to a disco for the first time. with a washed-out tshirt and cut-off jeans. and there was this thing with my sister. she looks a lot like me, so good. even though she looks tart. anyway, everyone had the hots for my sister. but she let everything bounce off her. i never had to take care of her. not until today.
then i met a girl in my father’s town. the same town that was hit by a terrible earthquake in 2020, six months after my father’s death, 2 days before my birthday. 5 billion euros in damage. anyway, i met the first beautiful woman of my life there. a croatian. years later, she crapped out in the poor environment. i could have married her. but denise reso in offenbach got in the way.
and denise listened to european pop and hiphop and watched american wrestling. no wonder she later met and married her current husband, american superstar wrestler christian reso, in london.
and i’m now listening to november rain 2022 version of guns n roses. and thinking about the hormone flooded transformation from childish muy to ugly goy that i never went through, since i learned in the early 2000s that i’m a poor fallen love god living a mortal life as an adventure.
what can i say people? you don’t know who you are dealing with.:)
…
today is november 10, 2022. i’m listening to my remix from yesterday. still pretty groggy from the two days of drunkenness with wine and drugs. i made my coffee and drank it. watched a little tv. talked to my mom on the phone. and now i turned on my news aggregators. there was this headline: s3xual education in kindergarten. and on the picture sat a 7 foot tall drag queen painted like an american native on the warpath, with fishnet stockings and a dress and high heels and reads with a wide red mouth and purple eyelids and a huge red-haired wig, something out of a book to the three year old kindergarten kids. i’m a sensitive little guy, and i swear if i were sitting there between the kids right now, i would be scared to death of the giant man in disguise. then i read something about the midterms and was surprised that after the failed coup d’etat trump is still at large and that half of the americans are for him. then i read that the biggest lake in italy the laggo magiore is still empty after the drought summer and that it can almost be crossed on foot. then i read about the mississipi, which also has low water. and that in winter. and then i read that janelle the second old round sisterwife of kody brown has left him and that it seems as if the old mormon patriarch kody brown has found his happiness in only one woman namely robyn, who will soon have him for herself.
the war in ukraine continues and there is currently trench warfare going on. reminds me of battlefield 1 that i will be streaming and playing today.
and then i remembered yesterday’s tiktok where a white bitter woman says we need to send more development aid and reparation money to africans because we whites have been exploiting africans for centuries. then an old white man in tiktok said: well, actually, that’s not true. if africa were to sink in the ocean tomorrow, god forbid, it wouldn’t affect germany because africa only accounts for 2% of foreign trade with germany.
and this is what i googled this morning: africa’s share of germany’s total foreign trade (im and exports). and see the german old bad white man was right. it is 2%.
but that doesn’t mean i won’t watch black panther, the rise of wakanda on disney plus when it comes on. despite everything, i’m a little miffed that i was once called a nogger by a white offenbacher. once only but still. even denise reso and kerstin ricker, my former german girlfriends, won’t change that.:)
well it looks like shit in the world. if i were christian, jew or muslim, i would say god will do it. well, since the shoa, jews have an ambivalent relationship with their god and muslims are more for the death of the kuffar. so i don’t know what they think of this dunja.
be that as it may, my own religion forbids me to see any thought of salvation for the world. my religion, namely personified in my goddess of love, always tells me. other people or whatever they are are none of your business. in the end, only the two of us are left. as gods. and when i ask about her virgins, she makes me understand that this is not my problem.
so what should i say world? ignite the nuclear holocaust, let the earth be destroyed by pollution, i still have about 30 years until my end and new beginning.:)))))))))))
…
today is still november 09, 2022. i didn’t want to upload anything at first. but i still had the beat of this commercial song. and then i went looking for an acapella. and i saw that i’ve remixed everything at least 1 time already. and for some acapellas it was already 100 times. then i reached for traveling lights after all. i put in the acapella and set the note key of the backbeat to the corresponding note. and then my mother called. i was beamed away again today with the help of wine and medication. so i couldn’t get in touch with her. i closed the daw. i took my rice pudding out of the fridge and ate it while watching tv and talking to my mom on the phone. then i hung up and was unhappy that i was remixing the same acapella for the umpteenth time. then there was a report on tv about some movie. it was called something nice once. no idea if you can translate that from german. again something beautiful. and i thought about my songs and remixes in general. and then i thought what the heck, just publish something beautiful again. and then i saw the husband of my second girlfriend kerstin ricker on tv. that’s so weird. anyway.
now that i have no more obligations to the state and still get my money, i think the least i can do is make music.
just now i read in an advertising mail that only 10% of all artists who publish their music on spotify have more than 400 listeners per month. and almost 80% have less than 50 listeners.
and in august, i had 2000 listeners thanks to an indian clickfarm. even though i didn’t pay anything for it, the girls in india went all out for me in front of their old cell phones.