today is november 25. it’s 9:30 in the morning central european time. i drank my premium coffee, said good morning to my mother and told her that i dreamed of elephants. and she googled what that meant and told me: luck, blessings and mental and physical health.

at a height of almost 5 feet 10 and 300 pounds fighting weight and according to my body mass scale a ffmi of just under 28, that must be true.

on the way from the bedroom to the kitchen i heard a deep sonorous male voice outside in the hallway, full of male self-confidence due to the job the matching man has to which he now goes, due to his family situation: a woman and child. the loans in dry cloths everything male everything good so far. that was probably my neighbor on the way to work.

and i thought of the same old man who yesterday was advertising on tiktok for his bank where he has been working for twenty years, presumably as a credit specialist. his skills are appreciated by all his colleagues and because of his nerves of steel he was supposed to be advertising on tiktok for this special order for the bank and then said in the middle of live tiktok:

hi, i lick b@lls, greetings.

he’s probably being greeted like a hero at his bank today.

while the teenager probably, who gave him this he@dshot, probably destroyed a career and caused a small trauma in the adult man, yes i sent this story to my therapist, now chews gum somewhere in a schoolyard, has long forgotten the matter and thinks where could she instigate mischief again today.

and i am now listening to night moves remastered by bob seger.

have read my crap of the last few days and hear from far away the voices of the virgins of my goddess:

i sle3p with women half my age, from time to time. (that’s nice for you). for money of course. ( it’s always about money). i make them fall in love with me ( that’s not nice of you). and get out of their lives forever. ( and that’s even worse).

i have my own love goddess who does not promise me salvation for myself for others or make any promises of any kind. (understandable. and maybe you should rethink the relationship with your goddess).

and while i laugh and say. boah are they evil. my goddess says quietly with a laugh: you will pay for this.

Workin’ on our night moves
Tryin′ to make some front page drive-in news
Workin′ on our night moves
In the summertime
Umm, in the sweet summertime

We weren’t in love, oh no, far from it
We weren′t searchin’ for some pie in the sky summit
We were just young and restless and bored
Livin′ by the sword

…

i’m dying. i’m still laughing.:) just now i was on tiktok. and i was swiping away. oh man i’m dying:)))). and as i was swiping away i witnessed a drive by shooting. there was a live tiktok coming out of an office of a bank, and i saw a boomer with a full beard who is as old as me with a shirt and tie sitting in front of a computer and raising his right hand, smiling and saying: hello, i lick b@lls, greetings.

in german. that was so unexpected i’m dying. and then he looks at his computer again and says: if the property costs so and so much, then the loan should cost you so and so much at most. i hope that answers your question.

i suppose the boomer’s colleagues and especially his boss must be terribly proud of him. i die…:))))))) hello, i lick b@lls, greetings….:))))))))))i die….:)))))))))

in german it means: ich l3cke eier.

and the kids on tiktok then write in the comments of a live: can you please greet ischlek aya.

looks like an oriental name but means in german what it means.

and the boomer is doing a live tiktok from a bank about real estate loans and was shot by an underage tiktok user via drive by with the words: greet please for me i lick b@lls. yes and then in the middle of the conversation with an interested real estate buyer he says into the camera: hello, i lick b@lls, greetings.

this is what happens when boomers leave their boomer facebook and try their luck on tiktok. then it can happen that they get shot in front of the whole team.

…

now im listening to empire state of mind by jay z…:)

today is thursday, november 24. today i don’t drink.

last night at 1 am, i smoked cigarettes and laughed at my song description for snowflake’s new song of mine. but the laughter stuck in my throat. as i stand on the balcony of my apartment at night and look out onto the empty street in the north end district of offenbach, i see a woman walking out of the mobster bar across the street with clacking footsteps. i can’t make out her face. my eyes are too bad after a day sitting 10 inches away in front of a 32 inch tv as a computer monitor. but i can see her hair: long curly brown hair. a coat she snuggles into. a cloth skirt and as an accessory knee-length shiny white boots with high heels. and she goes on without fear of the underage little gangsters who spend their days sleeping and their nights either in musty apartments or on the street, of which there are quite a few here. but i guess there are some rules for the little gangsters here on the streets. anyway, the queen of the night is going on past my balcony when i hear a voice: they all know you and they protect you.

that they know me can be. because 10 years ago a slim long-haired blonde from the police stood wide-legged with her hand on the pistol holster in front of the said mobster pub with her blue-striped police car, and let me out limping with a bloody forehead and bloody hands, after I had a free ride home from the place where I had torn down almost half the city of frankfurt in a wild rage. it was about the fact that the police asked me politely for my identity card and it was in the apartment where i invited the police blonde with her colleague. and after we did that upstairs. the three of us got back into the police car parked in front of the mobster bar and drove to the hospital. where i waited until the police blonde was gone and then went on home.

yes i guess the police blonde with long hair standing with her hand on her glock, with her legs as wide as wyatt earp, caused quite a stir in front of the mobster bar across the street from my apartment.

as you see dear readers, i reminisce and now listen to west end girls by the pet store boys in my apartment in the north end district of offenbach.

how would any hiphop rapper rap?

the street has eyes and never forgets.:)
…

today is still wednesday november 23, 2022. today i was beastly drunk. but so right. now it works again after i made a song. and now everything is back to normal.

i uploaded the song on a web 3.0 site that supposedly distributes tokens, which i haven’t seen anything of until now and was the victim of a virtual robbery. and after the bankruptcy of ftx and numerous other token trading platforms, the wild west hype around the ridiculous tokens has pretty much died down and now it’s clear web 3.0 and virtual currencies are only for shallow minds.

besides, i uploaded the song on a web 2.0 site. one that has been waiting for the big breakthrough since 2004 and is now also pretty much under the wheels due to the complete decline of the music industry and its importance. in the times of bought clicks that push stars, but that don’t get out of the meaninglessness and don’t get any attention except in the context of advertising campaigns and their media beneficiaries like niche music magazines, the indie artists of the web 2.0 site don’t get any attention at all. and so the web 2.0 site from the beginnings of the internet withers in the niche it’s stuck in.

at 8pm central european time i upload the song to a web 2.0 site whose security features are almost non-existent and which offers hackers every opportunity to attack visitors of the site with their 20 year old user interface. which they do. on this site there are no semi-professional artists but diy artists whose l1m1ted creative skills stand in the way of the site’s further popularity. and so this site languishes in its meaningless kit.

my song i put together in diy manner with my limited creative and artistic skills in one hour. it’s a remix whose music style can’t be defined so clearly. probably indie. because everything is indie that was made with limited creative and artistic energy in the living room. i used an acapella from a singer who used to be semi-famous and is now the creative and business head of this little web 2.0 site. the acapella probably wouldn’t pass as commercially viable in the eyes of a professional producer. the acapella is indie like everything on this little web 2.0 site.

who am i? i am a 45 year old man who lives on welfare due to his schizophrenia and does not work in his learned profession as a tax clerk, but makes music on the side and is rightly considered inferior by the productive society and can be considered retarded in his social competence due to his illness and a non-existent love relationship. at least as far as the skills and sense of responsibility of an average 45 year old man is concerned. it fits that i am not present in the social media. apart from the web 2.0 sites and tiktok. which however are rightly seen by the productive middle-aged population as inferior social media compared to the queen of social media facebook.

i admit it. i’m pathetic, everything i do, everywhere i am is pathetic. if you see it from the eyes of the middle aged productive population. and i can’t help myself.

…

so that was for my former school friends who nowadays go about their hamster wheel work, the same sh1t every day, sitting in front of a computer in an office counting the hours until you can go home, getting into their credit financed cars and going to their credit financed cozy homes. deal on facebook as a boomer with boomer typical matters retire in 20 years and then die in 10 years. with the lived career as a work drone, whose insignificant life can only be saved from their importance as a cosmic rat fart of history by the eternal love of jesus christ in whom they do not believe.

i love my web 2.0 and 3.0 sites.

i make cool music that even caught the eye of a record label on wall street in nyc. snowflake sings beautifully and lifts my spirits every time. i have had and still live an exciting life. my father was a croatian mobster which caused the offenbach and frankfurt criminal police to chase me and is probably involved in the bloody attack on me 10 years ago on easter. and because i br8ke the noses and sm@shed the stomachs of the m8slim drug dealers despite their large number and their martial arts experience in the central center of my birth town frankfurt am main in broad daylight on good friday 2012, i can now swing my b@lls unmolested by police or gangs for 10 years.

i f@ck half as old women as i am from time to time. for money of course. make them fall in love with me and disappear from their lives forever.

and i mix neuroleptics and valium with red wine and cola and a hell of a lot of cigarettes. eat in between like david hasselhoff in his famous drunk cheeseburger video taken by his daughter. and don’t even remember if i was in the bathroom or if i was asleep.

and listen to my own music. and not the diarrhea of artists known only in facebook boomer circles.

i have dribbled life. in every respect.

oh yes i have my own love goddess and so also my own religion without promises of salvation for me for others or other promises of any kind.

yes that is me.