too quiet night (2 am mix)
Kristian
…
today is still monday, december 12, 2022. i’m an @sshole. while i’m chilling here with my mom in her kitchen while she’s playing zuma in the living room, in the warm light of the little led lamp, and enjoying my music, my cousins are slowly saying goodbye to their mom. who, due to her cancer and the metastases, is slowly having her g8ts taken out. and she’s slowly getting ready to go into the dark.
this life stinks and is only bearable with red wine mixed with medication and lots of cigarettes, so that my head is blown off and i hardly know what i’m doing.
and i’m already preparing for that. because tomorrow i’ll blow my brains out. again and again.
only music, my music and my death mixture still give me joy. but then properly.
i still remember her reddish blond hair and her blue eyes that always smiled at me while she drove me around in her french small car for fun. that was so long ago. almost 40 years ago.
but what can you do? tomorrow i’ll tell you about wonder again, and you’ll look incomprehensible as usual as you skim over my words, while i revel in my memories and am thrilled with myself.
until one day i will forget these moments when i enjoyed my music, got drunk senseless in my apartment and enjoyed life, forget the moments in my mother’s kitchen, maybe still remember in the dark that i once made music and also slowly start my way into the darkness like my aunt now.
and my fellow men in the future will give a sh1t because they are young, they don’t care about me, and the party must go on and on. and most likely like fish on land with their mouths will long for water and will have nothing to eat. because as i read today in a small newspaper article. the groundwater reserves for the district of offenbach are becoming less and less. secretly, building applications for new housing estates are already being rejected here in my neighborhood because of a lack of water reserves.
and what will it look like in 25 years? but in california or france, of course, it looks completely different. no, it doesn’t.
my only consolation is that i am still witnessing the end of civilization and taking the world with me into darkness.
have a good trip auntie.
today is still monday, december 12, 2022. i’m an @sshole. while i’m chilling here with my mom in her kitchen while she’s playing zuma in the living room, in the warm light of the little led lamp, and enjoying my music, my cousins are slowly saying goodbye to their mom. who, due to her cancer and the metastases, is slowly having her g8ts taken out. and she’s slowly getting ready to go into the dark.
this life stinks and is only bearable with red wine mixed with medication and lots of cigarettes, so that my head is blown off and i hardly know what i’m doing.
and i’m already preparing for that. because tomorrow i’ll blow my brains out. again and again.
only music, my music and my death mixture still give me joy. but then properly.
i still remember her reddish blond hair and her blue eyes that always smiled at me while she drove me around in her french small car for fun. that was so long ago. almost 40 years ago.
but what can you do? tomorrow i’ll tell you about wonder again, and you’ll look incomprehensible as usual as you skim over my words, while i revel in my memories and am thrilled with myself.
until one day i will forget these moments when i enjoyed my music, got drunk senseless in my apartment and enjoyed life, forget the moments in my mother’s kitchen, maybe still remember in the dark that i once made music and also slowly start my way into the darkness like my aunt now.
and my fellow men in the future will give a sh1t because they are young, they don’t care about me, and the party must go on and on. and most likely like fish on land with their mouths will long for water and will have nothing to eat. because as i read today in a small newspaper article. the groundwater reserves for the district of offenbach are becoming less and less. secretly, building applications for new housing estates are already being rejected here in my neighborhood because of a lack of water reserves.
and what will it look like in 25 years? but in california or france, of course, it looks completely different. no, it doesn’t.
my only consolation is that i am still witnessing the end of civilization and taking the world with me into darkness.
have a good trip auntie.