waiting in the garden piano
Kristian
today is the first day of 2023. i slept through new year’s eve last night. anyway, it’s 12 noon central european time. i’ve been working on my music for 4 hours, highly concentrated, and have published it on five different major websites in three different formats. schizophrenics can’t concentrate are depressed and only create confused works of art. anyway, i composed this remix with exquisite chords in bminor in 120 bpm for my commercial cover version of wicked game by chris isaak that will show up on spotify and co in the next two weeks. for snowflake’s acapella waiting in the garden (which is my second favorite of hers by the way) i changed the back beat to cminor with the push of a button adjusted the arrangement a bit and the work of art is done.
and now i’m thinking about snowflake or madam snowflake, or schneeflöckchen weissröckchen as it’s called in the acapella from my personal admin i got assigned after i was told to please stop my emails to snowflake. first i stick to it, second i don’t know what my personal admin’s name is. no idea anyway he also makes music on ccmixter and i have never needed him because i don’t communicate behind the scenes with anyone on ccmixter.
if something gets deleted, it’s supposed to be like that.
well happy new year.
…
today is still the first day of 2023. i listen to my remix of wicked game by chris isaak, sent it to bentley records (they once wrote me on jamendo to send them demos). i don’t know why, after all the song is already on its way to the streaming platforms. and maybe bentley records will help me get a few hundred thousand clickfarm clicks from indian young women clicking on my song somewhere in india in some dark hovels on ancient cell phones. so i can then show the ccmixter community, my former schoolmates and my family that i made it. that would be a dream. an american german croatian dream.
anyway, that’s taken all the fun out of the song for me now. so i’m listening to the new underground hit waiting in the garden piano.
speaking of family. i just caught a glimpse of my aunt who is on a video call with my mother. she has tubes all over her face and looks like shit. ashen and emaciated. the cancer has probably spread and they must have opened her up and then closed her up again.
meanwhile i’m enjoying my own musical genius 1000 kilometers away and feel like shit when i think about the future. not because of my own.
and dear people how do you feel about listening to a song (waiting in the garden piano) that was created by a schizophrenic. they say that when a schizophrenic makes art it’s like when the craftsmanship of a chimpanzee meets the mental abysses of franz kafka and the spidery formal language of picasso. in any case, the art of schizophrenics always reminds me of exactly that. among other things, that’s because schizophrenics have the attention span of a fly and can’t take their time with their art.
i’m allowed to say that, according to the german doctors i have schizophrenia. and just like i described the art of the usual schizophrenics to you, that’s exactly the pigeonhole my social environment put me in. you too if you’re honest and surf through a song description on ccmixter again and don’t understand anything but nothing at all.
and how do i feel?
well because of my schizophrenia i also suffer from megalomania.
at least that’s what my therapist thinks, because i feel like a fallen god. and while my therapist is afraid of my divine outbreak of violence in the middle of frankfurt 2012 and doesn’t want to think about it, she listens to my music with sweet and lovely voices of women singing their souls out. sees my physical presence which can’t be grasped logically, with the value of my ffmi of 29 is miserably tried to be captured by reason and besides loses her logical thought consistency in the attempts to abstract and categorize my shape and personality logically.
and now I translate this for all not psychologists or other brain acrobats:
my therapist doesn’t understand anything at all when she thinks about me, but she thinks in love about when our next therapy session will be and when she can play her role as a superior psychologist again.
and me? i make a song for a singer and entrepreneur who lives in hawaii in which i play the piano more sweetly than she could ever play herself with the help of a three year old 600 dollar laptop and send it out into the world while i am bored like a fat black cat with my life a little bit and think about the fact that i exercise my divine powers on too few women.
yes, that’s how it is with my schizophrenia.
and now i’m thinking about snowflake or madam snowflake, or schneeflöckchen weissröckchen as it’s called in the acapella from my personal admin i got assigned after i was told to please stop my emails to snowflake. first i stick to it, second i don’t know what my personal admin’s name is. no idea anyway he also makes music on ccmixter and i have never needed him because i don’t communicate behind the scenes with anyone on ccmixter.
if something gets deleted, it’s supposed to be like that.
well happy new year.
…
today is still the first day of 2023. i listen to my remix of wicked game by chris isaak, sent it to bentley records (they once wrote me on jamendo to send them demos). i don’t know why, after all the song is already on its way to the streaming platforms. and maybe bentley records will help me get a few hundred thousand clickfarm clicks from indian young women clicking on my song somewhere in india in some dark hovels on ancient cell phones. so i can then show the ccmixter community, my former schoolmates and my family that i made it. that would be a dream. an american german croatian dream.
anyway, that’s taken all the fun out of the song for me now. so i’m listening to the new underground hit waiting in the garden piano.
speaking of family. i just caught a glimpse of my aunt who is on a video call with my mother. she has tubes all over her face and looks like shit. ashen and emaciated. the cancer has probably spread and they must have opened her up and then closed her up again.
meanwhile i’m enjoying my own musical genius 1000 kilometers away and feel like shit when i think about the future. not because of my own.
and dear people how do you feel about listening to a song (waiting in the garden piano) that was created by a schizophrenic. they say that when a schizophrenic makes art it’s like when the craftsmanship of a chimpanzee meets the mental abysses of franz kafka and the spidery formal language of picasso. in any case, the art of schizophrenics always reminds me of exactly that. among other things, that’s because schizophrenics have the attention span of a fly and can’t take their time with their art.
i’m allowed to say that, according to the german doctors i have schizophrenia. and just like i described the art of the usual schizophrenics to you, that’s exactly the pigeonhole my social environment put me in. you too if you’re honest and surf through a song description on ccmixter again and don’t understand anything but nothing at all.
and how do i feel?
well because of my schizophrenia i also suffer from megalomania.
at least that’s what my therapist thinks, because i feel like a fallen god. and while my therapist is afraid of my divine outbreak of violence in the middle of frankfurt 2012 and doesn’t want to think about it, she listens to my music with sweet and lovely voices of women singing their souls out. sees my physical presence which can’t be grasped logically, with the value of my ffmi of 29 is miserably tried to be captured by reason and besides loses her logical thought consistency in the attempts to abstract and categorize my shape and personality logically.
and now I translate this for all not psychologists or other brain acrobats:
my therapist doesn’t understand anything at all when she thinks about me, but she thinks in love about when our next therapy session will be and when she can play her role as a superior psychologist again.
and me? i make a song for a singer and entrepreneur who lives in hawaii in which i play the piano more sweetly than she could ever play herself with the help of a three year old 600 dollar laptop and send it out into the world while i am bored like a fat black cat with my life a little bit and think about the fact that i exercise my divine powers on too few women.
yes, that’s how it is with my schizophrenia.