Just could not resist this.

Its a cross between a 1960’s Greenwich Village folk singer and Benny Hill!!!


Big Jane Brown had bright blue eyes and came from Thornton Heath
She wore a dress made by a man with large protruding teeth
On fridays she would go to town to dance away her blues
Her friends would come to watch her dance and marvel at her moves

Here she goes twirling around
Conquering the dance floors of our town
She’s just grand oh so grand
A heart of gold to share with everyman

Simple mike had wanted love he said that he was due
A better man was hard to find but Michael knew the truth
Inside he planned to woo Big Jane it was his hearts desire
And nothing now would wreck his plans his lust had turned to fire

Here she goes shes not complex
Throwing out her messages of sex
There he stands unsure but free
Ready to give everything she needs

But when she saw him walk her way big Jane gave a roar
Her laughter at his foolish thoughts made simple mike implore
He begged her to go home with him he said he could be kind
But big Jane pushed him out the way saying your loves really blind

She left for home he walked behind
She hardly felt the knife go in first time
But simple mike struck four times more
And Big Jane Brown lay dead upon the floor

So heres to Jane who deserved more
No love can be demanded thats for sure
And simple mike has paid the price
For thinking Jane had given him the undeniable right