I thought I’d go ahead and take Admiral Bob up on his invitation to sing the blues with him on this track. I’ve never really tried to sing the blues before, but I figured as long as I had this opportunity to play around with Bob’s stuff, now would be as an appropriate time as any. And as long as I’m singing the blues, I thought I should choose a topic that brings me constant grief and frustration: putting the kids to bed…

P.S. I couldn’t make up my mind on singing this in a lower or higher register, so I’ve uploaded the lower-pitched version as an alternate mix.

LYRICS

Well, my kids, you know they like to give me trouble at night.
I say kids, hey, it’s getting late.
Time to turn out the light.
They say dad, silly dad.
That is not what we want to do.
We’re going to play until 2 AM. Until 2 AM!

Oh, please somebody help me.
Oh, please somebody tell me!
What am I going to do with them?
They want to play until 2 AM.

Well, I say kids, tell you what.
I am willing to make you a deal.
If you go to bed now, then tomorrow you can watch TV for an hour.
How do you feel about that?
They say dad, silly dad.
What do you take us for?
You will have to offer us more than that, so much more than that!

Oh please somebody help me!
Please somebody tell me!
What am I going to do with them?
They want to play until 2 AM.

Well, I say kids, listen up.
This is how it’s going to go down.
You have to the count of ten to get your behinds into bed before I take away your video games. I ain’t playing around!

They say dad, please no dad!
Take away anything but that!
We promise to be good, not bad!
Won’t you please give us one more chance.

I say alright. Good night. Turn the light out.
I don’t want to hear anymore monkeying about.