Thanks to Admiral Bob for the backing track.

So I walked into the forest one December day
Conservation Land or so the signs say
I find two miles daily a very pleasant way
to help me keep my many (minor) health problems at bay

There’s nothing like walking in nature for me
between flora and fauna, there’s so much to see
I’ve done this and loved it since I was a kid
It’s grounding and soothing and keeps me placid

But on this one day I saw something weird
that made no sense at all to me
someone had seen fit to hang ornaments on
a scraggly six foot tall pine tree

What nonsense is this I thought
so gaudily abrasive
more proof the human species
are the ones most invasive

All that plastic, bright colors all coated with glitter
to me just non-biodegradable litter
There’s a time and a place (once a year in your home)
but please keep it out of the woods where I roam

And what were you thinking?
What gives you the right
To infuse the forest
with tacky-time blight?

And the sign you put up
it’s a promotional stunt
advertising your organization
So is it cool with you
if I do it too
on behalf of the Aryan Nation?
(Just to be absolutely clear - poetic license - I am not a part of the Aryan Nation. Those people are monsters.)

Of course the real problem lies within me
as I tend to see things differently
nobody else cares, nobody else gets it
they’re mostly just there so their dogs can shit

So I’ll walk somewhere else ‘til they take that crap down
after all there are many more trails around town
and I’ll write a dumb song, feel better when I sing
let nature be nature without advertising